Greetings once more my dear comrades, it has been a long while, and perhaps that has more reason to it than the second-last post had portrayed. I said what is indeed the truth, but the apologetic tone, I now feel, may have hidden a more interesting and anyway more important topic for discourse. I endeavour not again to miß, and hope to shed some light on the modern socio-psychological condition, so to speak, which has indubitably influenced my absence, my very activity.
I told no lie that my Leftist reading club has occupied more of my thought this recent year, in comparison to the other years spanning back to its founding. The pandemic in many ways transformed the Club into an organisation, from its previous framework as congregation. Not merely three friends talking together about a common thing, it created the impetus to set upon an institutional style of processes, not least the transition from sporadic social media announcements at haphazard times, to weekly updates disseminating useful established information. Yet, my time is not consumed mostly by this, for it is a routine maintenance in a sense, requiring little forethought in its regular completion.
I must confess, I have become, somewhat apprehensive, toward the contemporary Leftist movement, rather, its various institutions. The movement itself, however, has seemingly circled around the pitiful squabbles of these institutions and personalities, becoming far too entangled for some mortal as myself to untwist in discernment without suffering considerable fluster. Most recently, Jason Unruhe and Caleb Maupin have begun shooting at each other in an inter-party conflict betwixt the American Council of Bolsheviks and the Party of Communists USA, which has had its flames stoked by the Mexican Communist Party in an act of interventionist meddling by that organisation. I can no longer confidently say who started this legendary Red World War trench-maze of branching alliances and domino treaties. It is all so baffling and truly distasteful, this epidemic of Leftist trench-foot, of Party-lice. My friend possesses stronger mental reserves than I do, he (clearly) has been capable of marching off to the Leftist trenches, where I would elect to foster my little gemeanship of fellow local comrades. I may honestly confess, that I am Kautsky, and my friend is Lenin. I do not, you understand, wish to say of my friend that his sacrifice has been for naught; he has put immense time, and mental faculty into doing what he thinks is the good thing to do. Whilst my local comrades and I enjoy discussing, important to be sure, Leftist theory, and generally keeping good cheer in our friendly company, my friend has been dedicating himself to a life of paranoia, of hated struggle 'gainst a hated foe, of perennial warfare in the name of this or that one true party of the proletarian maßes... in short, he has miserably suffered in like amount to my experience of comradely merry-making over these years..........................................
[Oh wow, good ald Wix, deleting dozens of paragraphs again. 'Saving', my arse it is! Suppose I will try to rebuild what recollection I can which I just wrote. Thanks Wix!]
Now that I am veritably upset that this piece of shite platform only pretends to save, I will briefly close up this unscripted post (lest even greater problems pop up). In short, my point was that I feel I have done no wrong in choosing my present path, committing to my Club comrades instead of following my friend down 'what is not a tunnel but a cave'. I have vowed to myself to feel no longer guilty of this. 'Death, from the meat-grinder of armies, is truly the end of the social, but the soul-grinder of the Vanguard Party is the death of the social' as opposed to its conclusion, which means 'animals have the superior conclusion of the social'. 'The Vanguard Party is not mere tyranny, it is the tyrant!' 'There is never enough for it: never enough sacrifice, et cetera'.
This may be the last time I do an unscripted post, with how many times the 'saving' function of the site has atrociously failed. At least with written posts, it is only a matter of willpower that determines when it is posted, in lieu of actual risk that it may disappear.
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